Finding exactly what you're looking for

Change. It's what I've been looking for the past few months. Positive change. And yet it's manifested itself in a way I never expected. Suddenly a house that was just mine is now one I share with a wonderful new friend who is amazing but I was not prepared for what the change in my physical environment would do to my feeling of center and calm. Add to that the amount of change happening with looking for a new job, leaving a long-term relationship and you've got a recipe for: Hello, my name is lets-throw-everything-up-in-the-air-and-see-how-you-fair.

So it's not even 6am now and I've managed about 4 good hours of rest after a long long day of constant change, transport issues with a city wide tube strike and a complete lack of anything concrete. As I searched around on my computer just now for some comfort, some words of wisdom I happened to click on my blog link when I thought I was clicking on something else and suddenly saw my post on 'getting unstuck'...it brought a small smile to my face as I realised that I found exactly what I was looking for. The reminder to take the pressure off, allow myself to 'relax into the stuckness' and just go with the flow even if it means that I'm not feeling like I'm flowing at all!

I find many times in life it is easy to look externally for wisdom or comfort during a difficult time of change and transition when in reality we've had all we needed the entire time. It's just a question of when we'll take the pressure off and look within to realise we have had it all along.

Getting 'unstuck'

If you're like me you've had many moments where you've gone away traveling, had an incredible, rejuvenating awe inspiring experience that sets you up to believe that you CAN conquer the world and all that you have set out for yourself. You come back home, rest from the long journey, give yourself time to process all that you've experienced and then are 'ready' to go to your projects and all that is waiting to be looked at and taken care of...

Well this was my initial thought when I came back from my most magical journey to Cornwall. I was ready and felt that after such a successful solo trip out to the South coast of England I could draw a line through my task list and feel great. Nothing was too difficult after traversing a long, windy, hilly, wet coastal path alone for about 6 miles on my own and sporting All Stars (anything but hiking shoes but definitely durable, dependable and mud friendly).

How wrong was I! I came back ready to take on the world and seemed to get distracted by visitors, not so great weather and the list.

I've been told before to only make a list of 3 things to do each day. It's enough that you know you can accomplish it and not so much that you would feel disappointed at the end of the day if you couldn't accomplish it all. Very sound logic but unfortunately doesn't work for someone who just felt like she conquered a huge new unknown adventure.

So I got 'stuck' as I like to call it. Limited motivation to look at my cv and how to make it 'me. Limited motivation to do an intense job search and just a feeling of 'ugh, really?'

So this got me to thinking...how do I usually 'unstick' myself? Sometimes it's music, something that I can't ignore and gets my body moving and me laughing and singing along. Sometimes it's cleaning...this works wonders! Sometimes it's just getting out of the house and into the outdoors regardless of the weather and taking a nice walk around my local neighborhood and park. But this time none of those seemed to work. That of course made me even more frustrated and 'stuck'. So my only course of action...just accept it! Yes, sounds radical, but I realised after a point trying to 'fight' the stuck within me was not going to do anything but continue to expend energy I didn't even feel I had. When I left myself 'ease' into the 'stuck' and 'blah' it actually worked. I pulled the pressure off, relaxed and said, ok, this is a changing state, like all others(good or bad) and will not last forever, so why not ride the wave, chill out, give myself some breathing room and leave Ms. Perfectionist at the door?

It was at that moment that I said goodbye to her and hello to Ms. Chill-I-got-this that I was transported to my previous state of relaxation and calm from my travels. It was all connected by 'letting go' of a specific plan or to do list and just 'flowing' with whatever the day brought, even if was about 'not flowing' and just 'being'.

So here's to all those out there who get 'stuck' and know that with everything in life, change is the only guarantee :0)

Happy flowing

I'll wait one more day to have the life I want...

Why do we procrastinate with those things that we want most in life?

I thought I was unique to such a situation and maybe some strange personality where I want to achieve many things in life, I have tons of ideas, but from idea to action I seem to get lost and distracted and find every excuse under the sun not to live my life today.

I'm surrounded by many people in the same situation yet when I look at them I think, well if you want it so badly just do it! Of course! Obvious right?!

Not as obvious when I look in the mirror.