I have not only heard that phrase but used it many many times myself. I used to think I understood what that meant but I feel that only today, after hearing an incredibly powerful and inspiring talk by Tony Robbins (yes I know many of you have very mixed feelings about him but there is something to it!) that my friend sent me (http://tinyurl.com/l8z5oe) do I truly understand the meaning of that phrase. My key take away was this: With every experience in life there are three questions to ask yourself, 1) What do I choose to focus on? (e.g. is it a new beginning or an ending?) 2) What meaning will I give it? (positive or negative?) 3) What will I choose to do about it? (e.g. my own action vs. waiting for someone else to take action). Now this seems quite simplistic at first, but honestly it is amazing if you try it just once.
To me it is a reminder of 'taking our power back' as I like to call it. I think we, as an entire society, need to relearn how to take our power back. The only people we can really change are ourselves. No one else. So when we learn what it is we really want to focus on in any one situation, what meaning we will give it and what we will do with it, we are taking our power back because we are finally asking the right question of the right person.
Let's take the ending of a relationship, as I know we've ALL been there done that! So regardless of who does the breaking up when you ask yourself 'What will I choose to focus on?' it can go one of two ways: this is an ending or this is a beginning. Whichever you choose, you bring your power back to you because you are ACTIVELY deciding what you want to focus on instead of say, letting your emotions dictate how you deal with it.
Let's say you choose to focus on it as an ending. The next question is, what meaning do I choose to give it? You can make it mean that you are not worthy of love, it always felt wrong etc. or you can make it mean that it is an opportunity for growth, an opportunity to learn and an opportunity to think about what will work for you and what you really want from a relationship. Again, it is YOU making the CHOICE about what meaning and therefore 'power' you give it.
Finally, you ask yourself, what do I want to do about it? You can CHOOSE to mourn the loss and then actively move on by nurturing yourself and doing things that get you grounded and reconnected to your best self or you can CHOOSE to mourn and see it as something to be upset about and carry it with you for a long long time. (I know I am simplifying here, but bear with me, I am going somewhere...). Again, it's about YOU ACTIVELY MAKING A CHOICE!
With all three questions it is about YOU, making an ACTIVE CHOICE and bringing the power back to you. It's no longer 'someone has done something to you' it's, 'something has happened and I am DECIDING what has happened and what I will do with it'.
Again, this is very simplistic I know. There are many things that you could argue against such a thought but my basic premise is that it is time to remember that ultimately we have the power to shape the world we experience. It's not about being positive all the time because that has it's own negative effects. It's about deciding to find balance in all that we do and remember that WE are the only ones who decide how we choose to deal with any situation in life.
This evening, I want to dedicate this post to all those people in my life and around the world that support each and every one of us to take our power back and remember that we are the true creators of our world...Thank you!